How to speak Australian

Can you put my carton of piss in the eskie? Ta.
or
The bub dropped her dummy on the bitumen while I was getting a nappy out of the pram.

It’s not code, a secret language, or just plain disgusting. It’s the Aussie language and by the time you finish this post I guarantee you’ll be well prepared should you ever find yourself in Oz.

Below I've compiled a list of all the Australian/American translations that I could come up with in one sitting.

A couple disclaimers - Please note that for some words, both forms of the word may be used in both countries. For example, some people in the US use the word Aunty for Aunt but in Australia Aunty is exclusively used so I’ve included translations where there’s a strong tendency of one form over the other.

Secondly – from the perspective of a North American, Aussie English is at times very similar to Pommie English (see POM below). This isn’t to say that Australian isn’t a language of its own but more often than not it’s more similar to Pommie English than Yankee English (see Yank below).

Finally - Fosters is not Australian for beer and you don't throw another shrimp on the barbie.

The basics - pronunciation and spelling:
H pronounced hach (hey-ch)
Z pronounced zed (soft z and soft e)
Replace o with ou
Replace z with s
Sometimes replace i with y as in tyre, and
Reverse r and e as in centre

Australian/American

Education
College/high school
University/college
Kindy or kindergarten/US equivalent to pre-school
Pre-kindy (no need to explain)
Tertiary/advanced degree

People
Bloke/dude
Bird/woman (sheila is a dying Aussie word)
Mate/friend
Mum/mom
Aunty/aunt
Me/my
Nanny or nana/grandmother
Poppy or pop/grandfather
Bub/baby
Bogan/red neck
Yanks/Americans
POMs/British (Prisoners Of her Majesty)

Clothing and Essentials
Pram/stroller
Nappy/diaper
Dummy/pacifier
Bathers or boardies/swimsuit or board shorts
Runners/tennis shoes or running shoes
Sunnies or goggles/sunglasses or glasses
Jumper/sweater
Jumper/sports jersey
Purse/wallet
Bag/purse
Mobile/cell phone

Food and Dining Out
Tea/dinner
Morning or afternoon tea/morning or afternoon snack
Prawn/shrimp
Lollies/candy
Serviette/napkin
Mains/entré
Entre/appetizer or starter
Long black/coffee
Short black/espresso
Flat white/latte
Pub/bar
Biscuit/cookie or cracker
Nibbles/snacks or finger foods
Tea towel/kitchen towel
Eskie/cooler
Chips/fries
*Chips are still potato chips but in the UK they are crisps
Carton/case
Capsicum/bell peppers
Salad cream/salad dressing
Bottlo or bottle shop/liquor store
Sugars/sugar (don't ask)
Rockmellon/cantelope
Chewie/gum
Cuppa/cup of tea or coffee
Fairy Floss/cotton candy
Toastie/toasted sandwich
Maccas/Mcdonalds
Hungry jacks or HJ’s/burger king

In case you find yourself in the hospital
Jab/injection
Tablets/pills
Thrush/yeast infection (sorry, had to share that one, it makes me giggle because I hate the word thrush)
Theatre/operating room

Getting Around
Bush/country
Lift/elevator
Toilette/bathroom (it's perfectly appropriate to ask where the toilette is)
*dunny (toilette) is another dying Aussie word
Car park/parking lot
Cbd/downtown (central business district)
Footpath/sidewalk
Petrol/gas
Push bike/bicycle
Bitumen/pavement
Number plates/license plates
Shops/store
Trolly/shopping cart
Voucher/gift card
Postal code/zip code
Stocktake/inventory (i.e. a department store may have a stocktake sale)
Tip/dump

Around the House
Rubbish/trash
Rubbish bin/trash can
Boot/trunk (of a car)
Dog’s lead/dog’s leash
Lounge/living room
Wardrobe/closet (clothing)
Swag/sleeping bag
Sticky tape/tape (again, don't ask)
Badge/pin (as in "flare" or a ribbon pin to signify cancer awareness)

Greetings and other phrases
Ta/thank you
Cheers/thank you or good-bye or used when signing off on an email
Good on ya/good for you
G’day (I don’t need to explain this one but it’s not often used to be honest)
fair dinkum/ fair enough
Reckon/think (as in do you reckon?)

Then there's the overusage of words like brilliant, lovely, gorgeous, or you beauty pronounced as youuuu beeuuuty!  These are the equivalent to words such as cool, awesome, fabulous or fantastic in the US.

Adults only
Bloody (swear word of choice)
Root/sex
Piss/beer
Pissed/drunk
Jocks/men’s underware
Knickers/women’s underware
Sunday session (excessive drinking at the pub on a Sunday afternoon)
Bum/butt
Fanny/vagina (hence a fanny pack becomes a bum bag for obvious reasons)

Unintentionally funny
Rubber/eraser
Thongs/flip flops

Other
Holiday/vacation
Annual leave/vacation (in terms of taking days off work)
Superannuation/401k (referred to as super)
Surname/last name
Full stop/period (as in firstname.surname)
Cyclone/hurricane
Autumn/fall
Fringe/bangs
Roo/kangaroo

When in doubt, shorten the word and add y, ie, or o. 
This separates the Aussies from all other English languages.

Tv/telly
Football/footy
Present/pressy
Breakfast/breaky
Christmas/Chrissy
Bar-b-que/barbie
Mosiquito/mossy
Brickie/brick layer
Tradie/tradesman
Arvo/afternoon
Rego/registration
Servo/service station

Disaster in Paradise

Australia has been placed in the world spotlight under unfortunate circumstances. The state of Queensland is under water. Here in Perth, we’re hundreds of miles from the devastation, instead sweltering in 100 degree heat with no rain. But Australia is a country big in size yet small in population and the Queensland floods are top of mind for all Australians.

When news of the floods first surfaced shortly before Christmas, I didn’t give it much thought. It rains a lot in Queensland, particularly this time of year, and flooding isn’t entirely unusual. I also have a low opinion of television news and find it difficult to judge the severity of any situation they profile.

But as the weeks have progressed and the situation has worsened, it’s become clear that this is truly a natural disaster on a grand scale - literally - because hundreds of kilometers of land are covered in water. This week the banks of the Brisbane River engulfed Brisbane’s central business district, leaving thousands in the city homeless and making a situation that was largely confined to rural areas begin to feel very real for those of us living in major cities.

Natural disasters never cease to amaze me and I’ve now succumbed to the media coverage- shaking my head in despair at the site of people being lifted from the roofs of their homes and families trapped inside cars being swept away by dangerous currents. As far as natural disasters are concerned the loss of life could be worse - currently 15 people have died and another 55 are missing - but, it’s the homes, communities, infrastructure, and agriculture which will take years to restore that will have the greatest impact.

Lance Armstrong recently arrived in Australia for a cycling event and announced that he’s made a personal contribution of $50,000. Last week, tennis star Andy Roddick, who was also in Australia, made a personal contribution of $10,000. Closer to home, the state of WA sent over $1 million and has offered to send over other assistance where needed.

In a news brief amidst the around the clock flood coverage, it’s announced that 400 people have died in a mudslide in Brazil and we’re reminded of the 1 year anniversary of the earthquakes in Haiti which claimed 200,000 lives. There is no doubt the communities of Queensland will have the resources and support to recover from this disaster but I’m left feeling a bit sad about the hundreds and thousands of people in parts of the world which are not so fortunate.

Over water cooler chatter this week, Shane announced to colleagues that in a disaster situation I’d save the dog and leave him to fend for himself. But he was only being nice because the truth is I’d flee the house with Bronson under one arm, laptop under the other, while barking demands at him to grab the remainder of our valuables and a suitcase of clothing and to lock the door on the way out.

In Queensland, they too are making light of horrible situation. The statue at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane has been fitted with floaties and a snorkel to survive the several feet of water that has engulfed the stadium.

And the number one requested item at the relief centers is thongs (flip-flops). It’s good to see that in times of despair, Aussie’s still have their priorities straight.

Christmas in summer

For my first Christmas in Australia I sent cards depicting satirical Aussie Christmases. Santa at the beach in a swim suit, surrounded by Kangaroos and Kookaburras. Or Santa playing cricket with his elves, again on the beach. These cards are a rather fair assessment of Christmas down under. In the morning, many people head down to the beach before gathering for a family lunch of turkey, ham and prawns.

The thermometer on Christmas day reached 40 degrees Celsius or 105 Fahrenheit. When the temperature nears the 37 degree mark we typically find ourselves camping out in our lounge room with the air-conditioning. Shane woke me up at midnight on Christmas Eve to announce that he’d had enough and was moving into the lounge room. Bronson and I decided to join him on the foam mattress. Thus far, no sign of Santa was visible. We woke up around 6am with the sun already high in the sky and exchanged gifts.

As I stared at the fireplace in our old brick home I wondered how Santa brought gifts to the majority of children across Australia with no fireplace. As a child Shane had a small iron stove for a fireplace at one house. But, if you don’t have a fireplace? Well, he just walks through the front door of course.

Otherwise, Christmas is pretty much the same. People (although not quite as many) hang lights on their homes, kids sit on Santa’s lap at the mall, and everyone scrambles to finish their gift buying at 5pm on Christmas Eve. Many Australians talk of someday having a white Christmas overseas and photos of snowmen and children sledding grace many holiday items.

There is however, one added bonus to Christmas in OZ. The following day is Boxing Day which is a popular day to watch cricket and unwind from the festivities of the previous day. Once again we headed to the beach in the morning and then sat in our air-conditioned lounge and watched cricket until joining Shane’s family for a Boxing Day dinner.

With Christmas and Boxing Day falling on the weekend, Monday and Tuesday were public holidays. We drove down to Bunbury, 1.5 hours south of Perth, and spent the next two days skiing with friends at a sheltered beach ideal for water skiing.

On Monday, I was the last person to ski for the day. Our boat had been out of commission for several months so it was the first time I had skied since last summer. When our friend Matt dropped me off on the beach they quickly scurried me and the two dogs (the skier welcoming committee) out of the water. Matt was rather certain he spotted a four meter shark about five meters from where I skied. We were only 200 meters from our home base so he continued on, hoping I wouldn’t fall. Had I fallen, most likely nothing would have happened. We were one of a few skiers out that day and a shark was never officially spotted. But, it was enough for us to call it a day and take our ski boat to a local lake the following day.

Wishing you a wonderful festive season free of sharks and other unwelcomed surprises and all the best for 2011!

Thanksgiving

When the Pilgrims and the Indians sat down for the first Thanksgiving, I’m guessing they didn’t cook a hot meal in the 95 degree spring heat (with no air-conditioning by the way), making trips down to the beach between baking the pumpkin pie and stuffing the turkey. Then again, I suppose they didn’t saddle up on the couch for a game of football or eat cranberry dressing from a tin can.

This is the third year I’ve enforced Thanksgiving upon my husband’s family. I can count on my father-in-law to eat anything I put in front of him. But getting the rest of the crew to eat things like pumpkin pie and sweet potato casserole is a challenge. I know, weird, huh? This presents an additional challenge, because it means I’m left to eat the bulk of the leftovers by myself. Did I mention I work from home? Shane’s sister and her husband lived in the US for five years and understand the tradition. Kym even makes a mean apple pie. And for the first time this year, I got rave reviews on the sweet potato casserole. My mother-in-law now understands that it’s part of the main meal and not a dessert. She also announced that she overate which she never does. So this Thanksgiving thing is definitely catching on.

Preparing a Thanksgiving feast down under presents other difficulties. My first Thanksgiving in Perth I must have visited four major grocery stores looking for things like canned pumpkin and frozen pie crust before realizing it’s just not available and I’d have to go about things the old fashioned way. Under normal circumstances I’m a proponent of cooking from scratch, but a pumpkin pie isn’t a pumpkin pie unless it comes from a can. So, I rolled up my sleeves, boiled and mashed the pumpkin, rolled out the dough and successfully baked a real pumpkin pie and then did it again the next year.

But something magical happened earlier this year. While shopping at a local specialty grocers I came across two (dusty) cans of pumpkin ordered from usafoods.com.au.  I was so excited that I purchased both cans and sat them quietly in the back of my cupboard until this week. It wasn’t until later that I noticed I had spent $7.25 a can. For my crust this year I settled on a sweet flan case, not to be confused with a savory flan case. Aussies love their meat pies but sweet pies aren’t as common and after baking with a frozen flan case for the first time I realized it’s essentially a pie crust.

That’s the anatomy of a pumpkin pie down under. But, I’ve had to make a couple other amendments to my tradition American meal.

Big turkeys are difficult to come by. Thanks to Christmas, frozen turkeys start to appear in the stores at the end of November and for the first year I was able to find a turkey bigger than 5 kilos (11 lbs) to feed 8 adults and 4 children. Our 7.2 kilo bird was more than enough to feed the family with a day or two of leftovers.

But you can’t have a turkey without cranberry dressing and who doesn’t love a big can shaped blob of processed cranberries with ridges. No tin can cranberries in Australia, but thanks to Ocean Spray it comes in a glass jar. And what’s a turkey without cranberry dressing and my apple, sultana and almond stuffing – I mean apple, raisin and almond stuffing.

Sailing the Swan, cruising the Canning

One of Perth’s greatest attributes is its waterways. Hold on. Perth’s greatest attribute is its waterways. With Australia’s largest cities situated on the coast, impressive waterways aren’t exactly a unique asset. But for the millions of us across the world that have spent most of our lives landlocked, an extensive river system which is home to a dozen different water sports and drains into an ocean lined with unending beaches – then it’s kind-of cool.

I should mention that I myself grew up along an extensive river system – one famous for riverboat casinos, devastating floods, and a certain Chevy Chase movie. Not to discredit St. Louis and the mighty Mississippi (I just wanted to type it) and Missouri Rivers. The Mississippi River (he he) played a significant part in US history and St. Louis has its own unique assets like Imo’s Pizza and Ted Drewes Frozen Custard.

Perth has some other wonderful assets such as amazing weather, beautiful beaches, amazing weather and beautiful beaches. My point is, you don’t come to Perth for a shopping holiday or to experience the nightlife and that’s Ok because if you have any interest in the great outdoors, exercise, boating or fishing, you won’t be at a loss for things to do.

The City of Perth sits where the Swan and Canning Rivers meet and become the Swan - about 14 kilometers (9 miles) as the crow flies from Fremantle, the port city where the Swan dumps into the Indian Ocean. If you are a visual person like me with a strong desire to know exactly where you are on a map then click here. Zoom in a couple times and scroll west. See Attadale? That’s where I live.

If I were a crow flying from Perth to Fremantle, during my flight I’d see sail boats, water skiers, jet skiers, yachts, paddle and dragon boaters, rowing teams, kite surfers, wind surfers, fisherman and even booze cruises. I’d also see costal parks, jetties, rowing clubs, sailing clubs, cafes, and walkers, runners and bikers along the extensive walkways that cover every inch of land along the water. I might also see people jumping off the cliffs into the river at Blackwall Reach or boats parked casually in a bay enjoying a Sunday afternoon. There’s also a pretty good chance I’d see Dolphins and Perth’s famous Black Swans.

And that’s why the state of Western Australia has the largest per capita boat ownership in the world. Perth also claims to have the largest per capita population of self made millionaires of any capital city in the world. Coincidence? Well maybe, because we have a boat and so do some of our friends.

In case you’d like to skip the writing and go straight to the photos…

 como jetty

 como jetty

 south perth foreshore

 city views from King's Park

 river views from King's Park

 the narrows from King's Park

 boat shed

 

 views from Peppermint Grove

 more views from Peppermint Grove

 black swans

 south of perth yacht club

views from our dog park

Halloween anyone?

Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday. I’ve already mentioned my affinity for candy corn, I have a special interest in the supernatural and although I arrived into the world five days late, I was due to make my entrance on Halloween.

I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re wondering if they celebrate Halloween in Australia. I get this question every year. The answer is no… well yes… umm sort-of? The Australian version of Halloween is like this. It’s like walking into a bar on spring break in Cancun and ordering a margarita from one of those mass produced propeller controlled machines. It’s tasteless and has less alcohol than a Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler. So why even bother.

This evening at 6pm while the sun was still shinning bright, we went for a walk. During our thirty minute walk we saw a total of maybe seven children trick-or-treating. I sadly watched a group of 10-year-old girls dressed as school girl meets zombie go from door to door with no answer. At another house, one little girl sat outside in a ballerina outfit jumping on her trampoline while her dad washed the car. A bucket of candy lay on the grass. One Halloween friendly house advertised with black and orange balloons. It was bizarre. I felt as if I was in the middle of a bad dream where humans retreated underground and only the fanatical came out to celebrate Halloween. Not a jack-o-lantern or Halloween decoration in sight, no designated candy aisles in the stores and no “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” on the television.

By no means is this a criticism of Australia’s version of Halloween. I wouldn’t even expect Halloween to be recognized here but it’s something that’s slowly caught on in recent years from watching American tv shows and movies. I asked Shane when he was first introduced to Halloween. His answer was as a teenager, watching the Simpsons. How did I not already know this.

The curiosity is understandable. It gives young adults (and some older ones) they excuse to dress inappropriately and stay out late drinking and it gives young children an excuse to eat candy and socialize on a school night. A segment on this morning’s national morning program was even dedicated to the question of whether or not Australia should embrace Halloween.

I was living in England one 4th of July. A local American themed sports bar (because sports bars are inherently American) decided to capitalize on the 4th of July. The theme was Cowboys and Indians – hardly 4th of July but a good excuse to dress as a favored American stereotype and drink some pints.

But back to Halloween in Australia. If we’re going to get technical, Halloween’s roots are Celtic. Its commercialization is American. Seeing that there is probably a greater percentage of Australians with Celtic heritage than Americans then maybe they should be embracing Halloween?

But, as far as I’m concerned, my last Halloween was in 2007. I was a banana. That’s when my 28 year streak of dressing up for Halloween came to an end. On Friday I spoke with batman on Skype. He was in Houston. I had nearly forgotten that Halloween was only two days away until my friend’s four year old greeted me on the other end of the webcam.

I don’t want to leave you thinking that Australia doesn’t have its own holidays. On November 2nd, the first Tuesday in November, the Melbourne Cup will take place. The Kentucky Derby of Australian horse races but bigger. The state of Victoria declares it a public holiday and it’s rather acceptable for workers in other states to call in sick. I’m not really into horse races but the dresses, the hats, and the spring racing season is a big part of this culture and I enjoy watching Australians embrace a tradition that is uniquely theirs.

Trick or treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat! Mate.

Virtual Seasons

It’s about that time - the time of year that a subtle twinge of homesickness creeps in. The changing seasons always bring out a bit of longing – even more so than holidays, because each new season brings a temporary yet reoccurring shift in lifestyle - with its own unique bundle of memories and a holiday is one portion of that bundle.

But it’s this particular time of year that gets me the most – the beginning of fall back home. Summer is by far my favorite season no matter where I am, but fall elicits more memories than any other time of year. Fall includes my two favorite holidays (Halloween and Thanksgiving), my birthday, a new school year, and a dramatic shift in the landscape – one that I do not get in Perth. Even when it’s fall in Perth, it’s not fall, but autumn - as I’ve rudely been reminded in the past.

Thanks to modern technology, the beginning of fall has been shoved in my face, and no where worse than on facebook. Here I’m confronted with status updates cheering on the beginning of the football season, comments on final lake house trips and changing leaves, and back to school photos. Please stop. I don’t want to know about the first sighting of Halloween candy or opening day of the ski season.

Adding to my sadness is the fact that this month I’m missing the wedding of one of my dearest friends and come November the birth of my brother’s first child. With weddings and babies come online gift registries. Even Pottery Barn with its textured fall patterns and pumpkin spiced candles is teasing me. Damn you Pottery Barn! And you too Crate and Barrel!

But, don’t play a sad song for me quite yet. Any day now I’ll be basking in the heat of the West Australian sun and turning circles in the waves of the Indian Ocean. However, when the candy corn does hit the shelves, please don’t forget to send me a bag.

Politics. Aussie style.

Just like a politician, I’m breaking my promise. On June 27th I talked about the political coup that saw Julia Gillard replace Kevin Rudd as Australia’s Prime Minister, resulting in Australia’s first female Prime Minister. At this time I promised that I would never again mention politics. But the events that have taken place between then and now are just too good not to share.

On July 17th, only three weeks after becoming Prime Minister, Julia Gillard called a federal election for August 21st. Elections are held at least every three years and with the last election being held in November 2007 and the PM holding the power to call an election, Ms. Gillard took advantage while still riding strong on the wave of capitalizing on the former PM’s pitfalls. This announcement was followed by five weeks of non-stop campaigning between the two major parties – Labor (left) and Liberal (right), because at the end of the day, the people vote for the party and not the candidate. Although you wouldn’t know it. And remember, the party has the right to change their leader and thus influence who sits as Prime Minister.

Voting is compulsory in Australia so on Saturday, August 21st Shane went into the local elementary school and voted as I sat in the car reading the paper and sipping my coffee. That night we sat at a friend’s house and watched the results roll in. In order to be deemed the winner, at least 76 out of the 150 seats in the House of Representatives must be won. As it turned out, each party won 72 seats resulting in a hung parliament, leaving the final decision in the hands of the one Greens seat and five Independents. The Greens party, as one may assume in this day and age, primarily represent environmental issues.

Over the past two weeks the Labor and Liberal parties wheeled and dealed with the six men who had the power to get their party to 76 seats. Yesterday agreements were made and Labor remains on top with 76 seats vs. Liberal’s 74 seats.

Now in the aftermath no one really appears happy – not surprising. An argument circling the media is that the Liberal party actually won more individual votes. The top issues? Refugees, climate change, a super profits tax on mining companies, housing affordability, and infrastructure. But the issue that apparently sealed the deal was a $43 billion dollar national broadband network. Life, liberty, justice, and high speed internet for all.

Two years and counting

Holy S*#t! I can’t believe it’s been two years since Shane and I left the UK to move Down Under. They say as you get older the hands on the clock tick faster. Add in a few life changing moments including two international moves, new career, marriage, and time can play some funny tricks on you. While the days and nights inbetween may appear fuzzy, the important moments remain frozen in time.

I remember August 28, 2008 as if it were today. We celebrated our last night in England with each of our favorite meals – take-away Chinese from the shop below our flat for Shane and take-away Indian from the village for me. We left our newly renovated flat in pristine condition, ready for the tenant who moved in that same day. As it’s still our flat, someday we’ll be back to say hello, making the experience even more familiar.

Our flight to the US was departing at 11am. Before sunrise, we left our home (southwest of London) in order to be in Essex (northeast of London) at 7am when the doors opened to the shipping company where we would leave our car to be shipped to Australia. We said good-bye to the car, a very small classic car, crammed with as many of our personal belongings as we could manage and rushed to Heathrow airport, nearly two hours away. Fighting time, we decided in advance that the only way to make it from Essex to Heathrow and not miss our flight was to rent a car.

Right on track with not a minute to spare we dropped off the rental car and shuttled it to our terminal, only to discover that we were in the wrong terminal. Waiting for the tram would put us at risk for missing our flight so we paid ten pounds to take a taxi from terminal five to terminal four. With four suitcases checked in containing nearly every item we owned (aside from what we could cram in the car) we slid onto the plane with plenty of time to reflect on what lie behind and what lay ahead.

The next ten days were spent in limbo with my family and friends in the US. This too is a very clear time consisting of a lake house holiday, shopping, Mexican food and some very sad good-byes. On September 11th, we landed in our new home country. Our car with the remainder of our material possessions arrived four months later - just in time for Christmas, making it a Christmas filled with gifts we forgot we even owned.

This move was particularly monumental for Shane who had spent the last seven years living in England and was finding himself acclimating to a home that now felt like a foreign land. After 2.5 years of living overseas (in the UK and Australia) I feel I’m now at the point where I can sympathize with Shane’s struggles.

I wish I had done a better job documenting my initial days living in Australia. It’s now difficult to recall the emotions and impressions that filled my head during that time. It’s even more difficult to elicit those thoughts because what was then my initial impressions of life in OZ are now a way of life, no longer foreign concepts but the norm.

As I write this blog I find myself naturally replacing my z’s with s’s and my o’s with ou’s. On my third trip back to the US, I struggled for the first time to drive on the right side of the road. I find myself getting passionate about issues which are important to Australian’s and the slang that leaves my mouth is Aussie not American. The accent is no longer an accent but a native sounding tongue. Of course, the sound of my own voice brings me back home but even that too has changed a bit and is unfortunately completely out of my control.

Only in my dreams, do I sometimes drive on the right side of the road, through the winding mountain roads of Colorado, the green lush suburbs of St. Louis, or the busy city streets of Chicago. After all, I am an American. Even a million miles away from America, you are still surrounded by America. But now, I experience it through the eyes of the Australian nighttime news, the latest films, and weekly gossip magazines.

I’ve read a few books by the author Bill Bryson. As an American married to a British woman, he spent nearly twenty years living overseas. Upon his return to the US he wrote a book titled “I’m a stranger here myself.” I look forward to seeking solace in this book upon my eventual return to the US with some good old-fashioned Bill Bryson humor. In the meantime, I’ll live as an American vicariously through family, friends, and mass media. I’ll continue to enjoy Australia’s finer attributes but will miss endless restaurant options, shopping at all hours of the day, the latest technology at the cheapest prices and most of all my family and friends.

Girl Power

It goes against my grain and the ideals of this blog to talk about politics. In my world, any conversation regarding politics that lasts more than five minutes is a waste of time. I respect and recognize the significance of the political system that I was serendipitously born into. When it comes to issues that are important to me I exercise my right and rock the vote and in 2008 I took the necessary steps required for an American expat to vote in our last Presidential election.

It’s not so much the topic of politics that perturbs me but the complaining that inevitably accompanies it. Politics and sports are one and the same in this regard. If your team loses, get over it! Who cares who played a crappy game or made a bad call – what’s done is done and all you can do is continue to back your team and hope that they will come out on top in the next match. Besides, even in a democracy there is never going to be a leader that satisfies all his or her people so why complain if perfection is impossible.

HOWEVER. Something happened this week in Australian politics that’s quite monumental and to me very bizarre so I felt the urge to address it. I thought I had a decent grasp on the Australian political system but clearly I did not.

Some mornings the bedroom TV is switched on after the alarm goes off in an effort to procrastinate getting out of bed and going to work. This Thursday was one of those days. Shane flipped on the TV and started watching our favorite morning news program, Today. I was still half asleep and in a daze so when I noticed that the entire morning program had been dedicated to the political coup that was soon to see a change in Prime Ministers I thought it was a dream.

Apparently, the previous day the Labor Party, the political party currently in charge, had decided they weren’t happy with their current leader and PM, Kevin Rudd, and wanted to see Deputy PM, Julia Gillard take his place. So as it goes, that morning a ballot was cast in Parliament and before the day was done Australia had its first female Prime Minister. “How can they do that?” I said to Shane. I knew that Rudd’s approval rating had been plummeting but as I’ve already established, people will grumble. It’s not like he had an affair with an intern or embezzled money, people just simply weren’t happy. What I quickly learned was that when an election is held approximately every four years, the people aren't voting for a person but are voting for a party, most likely either the Labor (left) or Liberal (right) party. Whomever is leader of the winning party at the time of election becomes the new PM. The leader of the losing party takes on the title Leader of the Opposition. Therefore, the power ultimately lies within the cabinet of the party, not the public. Undoubtedly, people’s votes are swayed by who is the leader of each party at the time of election but it’s not guaranteed that that person will remain in power. In fact, there are a lot of rumblings that with a new election on the horizon the Labor party was unsure that their current leader would be able to keep them in power for the next term so they got rid of him.

There you have it. Australia has its first female Prime Minister. She’s also a red head (“ranga”, “ginger”) which is drawing just as much attention as her status as a female. On top of this she is also foreign born (Welsh by birth and immigrated to Australia at the age of three) and the first Prime Minister who is not and has never been married. However, she does have a de facto spouse whom she has cohabitated with for the past three years. They met when he was a hairdresser at her salon in Melbourne. A fact that I find charming.

The initial polls are positive; it looks like she may after all help the Labor party retain their status on top in the next election. But, give it time, soon they’ll find something to nag about. I promise this is the last you’ll hear from me on politics.

Kangaroo, it's what's for dinner.

The times when Shane and I do our weekly grocery shopping as a team he tackles the meat section and I dominate the remainder of the grocery store. Shortly after moving to Australia he introduced me to a new category of meat, the marsupial, or macropod to be exact. There isn’t much I leave off my dinner plate but I’m sure you can understand my trepidation.

The meat isle at your local Coles or Woolworths (not to be confused with the US Woolworths) looks something like this: beef, lamb, pork, poultry and mince as in ground meat. Tucked away at the end of the isle, next to the minced dog meats, you’ll find kangaroo in the form of roasts, fillets and even “kanga bangas” (that’s kangaroo sausages for you Yankees). All this might lead the uninformed shopper to believe that kangaroo is crap and you’re better off leaving it for the mutt.

Au contraire! Kangaroo, when cooked properly, is da-licious! When overcooked, it can be a bit tough and gamey and it’s no good as a leftover. But when kept a bit pink in the middle it’s tender, juicy and perfectly tasty. Shane will only eat red meat a bit pink. To quote my high school swim coach he prefers his meal “crying for its mama” so our kangaroo is never overcooked but don’t worry, it’s definitely dead.

The buck doesn’t stop there. Kangaroo is healthy, environmentally friendly and affordable. It’s high in protein with less than 2% fat and in addition to a myriad of essential vitamins and nutrients it has a high concentration of conjugated linoleic acids (CLA) which have anti-carcinogenic and anti-diabetic properties and can reduce obesity and atherosclerosis.

Kangaroos are not farm-raised. Commercial meat comes from the wild and eating kangaroo over other types of meat can help reduce greenhouse gas emissions because, unlike sheep and cattle, kangaroos produce very little to no methane gas. But, I’m going to stop here because I’m no expert in this area. All I know is that it’s cheaper than most meats and in an expensive city within an expensive country that leaves me feeling pretty chuffed.

But when considering the above, it’s surprising that most Australians don’t incorporate kangaroo into their diet. A 2008 survey found that less than 15% of Australians eat kangaroo no more than four times a year and only 50% had even tried it. I can attest to this first hand. Most of our friends and family do not eat kangaroo. Aside from indigenous Australians who have been eating it for thousands of years, it’s a relatively new option in the Australian diet and nationally first became legal for human consumption in 1993. Maybe it’s the thought of eating a national (rather adorable) icon or concerns expressed by animal welfare advocates that don’t agree with the culling of a wild animal or environmentalists who say it will disrupt the ecosystem.

With that being said, you don’t hear much of a fuss about people culling kangaroos; when it’s done humanely of course. Kangaroos are sometimes seen as a pest and many Australians would be lucky to make it a lifetime without destroying one with their car…or should I say, it destroying their car. I once witnessed a suffering, recently hit kangaroo on the side of the road, and based on my personal experience, humane culling would be a much better way to go. Besides, the commercial kangaroo industry is government regulated with a 2010 culling quota of just over 4 million and an estimated total population somewhere around 35 million. Keep in mind Australia’s human population is only 22 million. You do the math.

I suppose asking people to add deer to their grocery list in the US would elicit a similar response, or should I say lack their of. People are happy to stick to their staple chicken, beef, chicken, fish, chicken, pork diet, or sometimes, no meat at all. But, I have to say, I don’t mind adding a marsupial to the menu from time to time.

In case you’d like to learn more, I found the following links particularly interesting:

Eating kangaroos could reduce emissions

Commercial kangaroo harvest quotas

Eating kangaroo - the real Aussie meat