How to speak Australian

Can you put my carton of piss in the eskie? Ta.
or
The bub dropped her dummy on the bitumen while I was getting a nappy out of the pram.

It’s not code, a secret language, or just plain disgusting. It’s the Aussie language and by the time you finish this post I guarantee you’ll be well prepared should you ever find yourself in Oz.

Below I've compiled a list of all the Australian/American translations that I could come up with in one sitting.

A couple disclaimers - Please note that for some words, both forms of the word may be used in both countries. For example, some people in the US use the word Aunty for Aunt but in Australia Aunty is exclusively used so I’ve included translations where there’s a strong tendency of one form over the other.

Secondly – from the perspective of a North American, Aussie English is at times very similar to Pommie English (see POM below). This isn’t to say that Australian isn’t a language of its own but more often than not it’s more similar to Pommie English than Yankee English (see Yank below).

Finally - Fosters is not Australian for beer and you don't throw another shrimp on the barbie.

The basics - pronunciation and spelling:
H pronounced hach (hey-ch)
Z pronounced zed (soft z and soft e)
Replace o with ou
Replace z with s
Sometimes replace i with y as in tyre, and
Reverse r and e as in centre

Australian/American

Education
College/high school
University/college
Kindy or kindergarten/US equivalent to pre-school
Pre-kindy (no need to explain)
Tertiary/advanced degree

People
Bloke/dude
Bird/woman (sheila is a dying Aussie word)
Mate/friend
Mum/mom
Aunty/aunt
Me/my
Nanny or nana/grandmother
Poppy or pop/grandfather
Bub/baby
Bogan/red neck
Yanks/Americans
POMs/British (Prisoners Of her Majesty)

Clothing and Essentials
Pram/stroller
Nappy/diaper
Dummy/pacifier
Bathers or boardies/swimsuit or board shorts
Runners/tennis shoes or running shoes
Sunnies or goggles/sunglasses or glasses
Jumper/sweater
Jumper/sports jersey
Purse/wallet
Bag/purse
Mobile/cell phone

Food and Dining Out
Tea/dinner
Morning or afternoon tea/morning or afternoon snack
Prawn/shrimp
Lollies/candy
Serviette/napkin
Mains/entré
Entre/appetizer or starter
Long black/coffee
Short black/espresso
Flat white/latte
Pub/bar
Biscuit/cookie or cracker
Nibbles/snacks or finger foods
Tea towel/kitchen towel
Eskie/cooler
Chips/fries
*Chips are still potato chips but in the UK they are crisps
Carton/case
Capsicum/bell peppers
Salad cream/salad dressing
Bottlo or bottle shop/liquor store
Sugars/sugar (don't ask)
Rockmellon/cantelope
Chewie/gum
Cuppa/cup of tea or coffee
Fairy Floss/cotton candy
Toastie/toasted sandwich
Maccas/Mcdonalds
Hungry jacks or HJ’s/burger king

In case you find yourself in the hospital
Jab/injection
Tablets/pills
Thrush/yeast infection (sorry, had to share that one, it makes me giggle because I hate the word thrush)
Theatre/operating room

Getting Around
Bush/country
Lift/elevator
Toilette/bathroom (it's perfectly appropriate to ask where the toilette is)
*dunny (toilette) is another dying Aussie word
Car park/parking lot
Cbd/downtown (central business district)
Footpath/sidewalk
Petrol/gas
Push bike/bicycle
Bitumen/pavement
Number plates/license plates
Shops/store
Trolly/shopping cart
Voucher/gift card
Postal code/zip code
Stocktake/inventory (i.e. a department store may have a stocktake sale)
Tip/dump

Around the House
Rubbish/trash
Rubbish bin/trash can
Boot/trunk (of a car)
Dog’s lead/dog’s leash
Lounge/living room
Wardrobe/closet (clothing)
Swag/sleeping bag
Sticky tape/tape (again, don't ask)
Badge/pin (as in "flare" or a ribbon pin to signify cancer awareness)

Greetings and other phrases
Ta/thank you
Cheers/thank you or good-bye or used when signing off on an email
Good on ya/good for you
G’day (I don’t need to explain this one but it’s not often used to be honest)
fair dinkum/ fair enough
Reckon/think (as in do you reckon?)

Then there's the overusage of words like brilliant, lovely, gorgeous, or you beauty pronounced as youuuu beeuuuty!  These are the equivalent to words such as cool, awesome, fabulous or fantastic in the US.

Adults only
Bloody (swear word of choice)
Root/sex
Piss/beer
Pissed/drunk
Jocks/men’s underware
Knickers/women’s underware
Sunday session (excessive drinking at the pub on a Sunday afternoon)
Bum/butt
Fanny/vagina (hence a fanny pack becomes a bum bag for obvious reasons)

Unintentionally funny
Rubber/eraser
Thongs/flip flops

Other
Holiday/vacation
Annual leave/vacation (in terms of taking days off work)
Superannuation/401k (referred to as super)
Surname/last name
Full stop/period (as in firstname.surname)
Cyclone/hurricane
Autumn/fall
Fringe/bangs
Roo/kangaroo

When in doubt, shorten the word and add y, ie, or o. 
This separates the Aussies from all other English languages.

Tv/telly
Football/footy
Present/pressy
Breakfast/breaky
Christmas/Chrissy
Bar-b-que/barbie
Mosiquito/mossy
Brickie/brick layer
Tradie/tradesman
Arvo/afternoon
Rego/registration
Servo/service station